First time smoking? Don't trip, ride it out

I've been inspired to write this post from a question: "Why are there hospitalizations from marijuana use?" It made me think about that question seriously. As long as I've been smoking (7 years) and growing (3 years), I have not ever come across someone who has been hospitalized for smoking marijuana. However, I have read the articles from various sources claiming hospital visits for marijuana use. The main theme in all of these articles comes down to someone who is simply not ready to get high, usually first-time users.

Let's get this fact out of the way
No one has ever died from marijuana use. 5000+ years of recorded history and not one recorded death. I'm not saying there aren't any deaths. I'm just noting that in 5,000+ years, there haven't been any recorded. You would think that in 5000+ years of recorded history, at least ONE person could have died from marijuana use alone. Once again, no one saying it hasn't happened. Then again, do your research and you'll know exactly why it shouldn't, couldn't and wouldn't happen.

We all know there are different kinds of marijuana, all with different levels of potency broken down into three. You have your Mexican schwag which floods the US. It's cheap and easy to get. The THC level of this stuff is somewhere around 5%. Then, you have your mid-grade. You can't really say what's mid-grade until you look at it but the THC level here is around 5-15%. Then you have the kind, or high quality stuff. The THC is 15% and up, but usually tops out at around 20%.

There is no such thing as "super bud".
Don't believe the hype when police say they've found marijuana with THC at 50% and sometimes more. It doesn't exist. Don't sweat the seed dealers when they claim they have stuff that produces at that rate [New Marijuana Growers Beware]. The police and these seed dealers that overstate THC levels are just preying on the ignorance of individuals. Police want you to think there's some "super bud" out there to scare you and the seed dealers want you to buy that "super bud". It's a twisted symbiotic relationship.

The main reason most people end up in the hospital is because they simply aren't ready. Sure, many users know to expect certain feelings, even first timers. But, it's one thing to have an expectation while it's another to not know what exactly to expect.

And, this is where paranoia and anxiety show their ugly heads. You expect an altered mental state but you don't know how altered nor how intense. No one told you about your heart feeling like it's going to beat out of your chest. You can't remember what you were just talking about. It was funny in the movies but you're really not used to it. You hear a noise outside and remember, you're doing something illegal; is that the cops? mom? the kids? nosy neighbors? You don't want to get caught like this! Now you want to regain some control but can't - you've just hit the panic button on yourself. This is where most people end up in the hospital.

What's a hospital going to do for you?
I always wondered what doctors will do for you once you go to the hospital for marijuana use. Simply put, their advice will always be to just let the high take its course. While the nurses and doctors monitor you, they'll be laughing at you as well. Guess what? There is no treatment for marijuana use. You think the doctors are going to put you on some magical pill that will make the high go away? Yeah, they do. It's called the bill. That will induce sobriety within seconds. We, potheads, call it "buzz kill"!

Here is a list of potential effects of marijuana use:

• Dry mouth
  Also known as cotton mouth; drink lots of water
• Decreased coordination
  You might stumble, knock stuff over; just relax, take it slow, don't drive
  
• Increased heart rate
  Your heart may feel like it's beating out of your chest; calm down, deep breaths
• Increased appetite
  Also known as hunger; eat something; try not to raid the fridge
  
• Hallucinations
  Depends on what and how much you use. Smoke enough of a strong sativa, you will experience hallucinations, some mild [Best marijuana I've ever had!] and some intense [New Suppliers & Pink Bunnies].
  
• Sleepiness/Sedation
  Yes, you do become relaxed. Depends on what and how much you use. Indicas will put you right to sleep. [Marijuana Strains and Potency; Indica vs Sativa]
  
• Altered libido
  There is a chance you will get horny. It depends what you're smoking as not all strains are the same. And, sex is better on marijuana but not so much that you have to be high to enjoy it. If I had to apply a number, I'd say 20% better.
  
• Worsened short-term memory
  Yes, you will forget what you were just going to say; just let it go and move on, you will NOT remember.
  
• Altered time perception
  Time may fly by quickly or slowly, depends on your mood
• Anxiety, confusion, paranoia, and panic
  This is not because of marijuana. It's natural to have these feelings because you're stepping into the unknown for the first time. Maybe, it's your first time using marijuana or your first time being that high. It'll happen. Just ride out the high and you'll be fine. What are you going to do - go to the hospital?
  

Here are some tips on getting high safely

• Comfortable Environment
  Make sure that if it's your first time, you are around truly trusted friends/family. An environment where there are too many unknowns - people, places, things - will cause paranoia to go into overdrive. Over time, this will loosen up and if you're smoking for years like me, you'll do so in public eventually.
• Start slow
  The good thing about marijuana is that it's scalable meaning the more you take the higher you get. Conversely, the less you take the less chances you have of getting too high. Take your time. You don't have to hang with the big boys.
• Relax, Breathe, Focus
  You will feel a lot of different sensations. That is supposed to happen. Let it happen by taking deep breaths, close your eyes to shut out other stimulation, and relax. You smoked marijuana to see what it feels like. Well... don't sweat it. It will all go away when the high wears off.
  
• Don't hold it in
  A lot of times your friends will tell you to hold it in. Don't hold smoke in your lungs for more than 5 seconds. I can't quote exactly why but it has something to do with the air exchange in the lungs. It happens.
• No large pulls
  This is another case of bad friend advice that usually goes along with "Dude, you gotta hold it in!" Sometimes you see people take a huge pull from a bong or a joint. The idea behind that is if they fill their lungs with smoke, it will absorb more smoke. That is partially true but there is an unintended consequence. Think about it. You've filled your lungs with smoke - little to no oxygen whatsoever. That's suffocation. This issue may have to be another blog post.

Good luck folks and remember, marijuana use does not need to end in a hospital visit. It should end with you waking up, taking a few minutes to adjust, and going on about your day.

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Homegrown: Fears of Marijuana Growing

First, I want folks to understand that this is geared more toward the personal marijuana grower. These are people who grow under 10 plants at the most. So, I don't go into the problems of a commercial grower. However, a lot of what's said in this post will definitely apply to a commercial grower's concerns.

Intro to my world

Ever since I decided to grow my own marijuana, I've gone through many of the fears and paranoia of growing marijuana. But, I didn't hide from the fears. I chose to investigate them. I wanted to know the reality of the situation. Growing marijuana is not legal and can result in jail time. But, there are so many marijuana growers in the United States that get away with it eventually. So, I wanted to understand it thoroughly. The best way to do that was to actually do it. So, from my fingers to your eyes, allow me to alleviate your fears.

Please ask questions if you don't understand how to proceed about something.

The number one fear of any marijuana grower is, of course, getting caught. We always see someone getting caught in the news. Law enforcement tends to make a big deal over every marijuana grow they get their greedy little hands on. I always take the time to read those articles because I find those gems of security information to keep me aware. In other words, how in the hell did they get caught? From those lessons, I either add to or reinforce the knowledge that I have learned.

The best way to think about security is to draw three circles, one inside the other, with yourself as the core. Each circle represents a security concern. The inner circle represents your control over the grow room itself. The middle circle represents the home and includes close friends and family.The outer circle represents your community.

Let's start...

Core: YOU

As a grower, your job is to be responsible for no one within those circles to reach the core. You're responsible for a clean running grow room. You're responsible for any friends and family that you entrust with knowledge of your activities. And finally you are responsible to anyone else who finds out that you grow. So, change your way of thinking.

Recklessness will get you nowhere.

Inner Circle: Is your grow room snitching on you?

In a grow operation, you'll have a lot of things going on - lights, fans, pumps, and so on. These can all be security concerns. It comes down to the planning and strategy of the grower. Just having the right space is a concern. Other concerns include lights which are bright and give off heat. Fans make a lot of noise. Odor control is major issue which can invade the home which is a bad thing if cops are at your door step. Electrical fires can happen with those Home Improvement/Tim Allen types who aren't careful with wiring.

Usually, in the news, you hear about growers getting caught due to their own carelessness. Some homes are dead giveaways because the rooftops weren't covered with snow during the winter due to the heat from the lights. Neighbors can smell your marijuana from inside their own homes. Someone may see a bright light that comes on at the same time every day. All a concerned neighbor saw was smoke coming from the basement so they dialed 911.

All of those lines are examples of things to keep in mind when growing. So, conceal the light, vent the heat, clean the air, and be very careful. You don't want your grow room to snitch on you. Pay cash! Rip off barcodes/labels when done. Don't stop there. Keep thinking of everything else you can do to keep your grow room from snitching.

Middle Circle: Home, friends, and family

The number one rule in marijuana growing is don't tell anyone.

Unfortunately, this rule is always broken and probably leads to the most problems for marijuana growers. Human beings are social creatures. We do something, we talk about it. Marijuana growers are no different. We can't live alone like some hermits. We have friends and we come from families. Law enforcement counts on that. The police will go after your friends and family like any criminal organization looking for blood. Keep your friends and family safe, and especially yourself, by simply keeping your mouth shut about what you're doing.

Usually in the news, you'd hear about some grower going down because someone, an informant, told on them. It could be a jealous friend, an angry lover, a greedy partner, and even a "concerned" family member. Don't tell anyone anything. Even if they seem cool at first. Things can change. Things always change. The best kept secrets are the ones you keep to yourself.

Although I try to remain approachable, I advise potential growers to join a marijuana growing forum - International Cannagraphic. You can get the best advice there from growers with way more experience than me and communicate anonymously.

Outer Circle: The Community

Unfortunately, we do not live in this world alone. It is important to be a good neighbor, employee, father/mother, etc etc etc. People are very suspicious, especially those suburban, conservative types. If something seems out of place, they will complain. A neighbor who never seems to be home or outside will arouse suspicion in a small community "where everybody knows your name." Employers do drug tests and coworkers will take notice if you don't act like everyone else.

The point is to keep up appearances as much as possible. You want to create an image for the community that if someone smelled something or saw something, they'd be willing to talk to you before outright dialing 911.

If you feel that you are not up to this.. perhaps it's too much to deal with in your situation, then definitely postpone any growing until you feel you are in a comfortable space. For example, since this economy has basically been trash, I have a few friends who have moved back home with their parents. Another friend lost her house to foreclosure. They're all interested in growing but want to be in a better situation - their own place. Some rather have a house because they're worried about inspections.

A few more things
When I say ask questions, get an assessment of your situation. For example, those friends in an apartment waiting to get a home, you want a portable grow box. Simply put, you build a wooden box to whatever dimensions you need and outfit it to grow. Then you put wheels on it. Inspection day is here? Wheel it to a different location. Or, if the build was incredible, you wouldn't need wheels because you could simply leave it in plain sight. It's all about planning and strategy.

Lastly, no one gets caught from good police work. If that were in the news, I'd have to make sure I was reading the actual news and not some comedy. It's hilarious. The police do not work. You will not hear a case where police infiltrated some network, went undercover, etc etc etc. I can't recall a marijuana grow operation that wasn't busted due to growers violating these unspoken rules. The last few cases I could think of were grower mistake - grower got caught smoking in the car, grower got pulled over for a busted tail light, grower's house burned down due to electrical fire from grow room, and grower got caught after partner ripped off the grow to make it look like a robbery leaving the grower with liability. You stay within the circles and you'll be fine.

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Homegrown: The Future of Marijuana

Although this occurred to me a long time ago, I've yet to give the concept its true attention.

DEA targets marijuana grow operations at a cost of some $12 billion every year. Local cops purposely create pseudo-war zones in urban communities with minority targets. Criminals destroy one another in search of a piece of the pie. Politicians stand by twiddling their thumbs as people are murdered in the street. Bullets flying from both directions. Marijuana users can't find decent marijuana at a fair price.

The best option to put a stop to all of this pain is legalization.

But, you have law enforcement building lies upon lies to protect their easy jobs. Lawyers salivate over marijuana cases because of the ease in prosecuting marijuana cases. Large companies put millions behind pro-prohibition candidates to keep marijuana competition from being legitimate. By being tough on easy marijuana crime, politicians can pretend to care about their constituents.

It's clear to me that the movement toward marijuana legalization is a perfect example of an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object. Then again, the details of this situation prove to be a less difficult scenario. Criminals work with law enforcement because most times, law enforcement are the criminals. So, the immovable object and unstoppable force become one and the same. That's the current nature of this war on drugs. This is why it's failed.

But, that's aside from the point.

All of these people have their own loyalties whether it's to their own riches or to someone else. That's the nature of humanity. We really only care about ourselves individually. And, this is what what I appeal to with my marijuana using peers.

You see.. the criminals only care about making money. Law enforcement only cares about statistics. Politicians only care about getting votes. And, those random prohibitionists only care about who they can tell what to do. We all know, behind closed doors, the prohibitionists are doing the worst.

The solution becomes simple. What's the best way to stay away from criminals? What's the best way to keep off of law enforcement's radar? How do we go about keeping those random prohibitionists out of our business? How do we get politicians to do something about marijuana legalization?

Answer: Set up your own personal grow room/box.

The main problems most people have with growing their own marijuana is fear of being caught. Rippers may find your stash and try to run off with it. Cops may show up at the door to investigate a noise. And, there are always nosy neighbors who smell or hear something. There's a lot to be concerned about. But, all of these concerns can be addressed.

There's a reason many people grow their own marijuana and get away with it. I'll tell you how it's done next time...

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It's All About The Magic Beans

Of Growers and Genetics

A lot of marijuana growing is in the genetics - the magic beans or the seeds - that you use. Quality genetics matched with a competent grower can bring you very incredible marijuana.

Check out this picture of the Deep Chunk strain:
If you don't know what you're looking at, it's definitely marijuana that's producing THC at an amazing rate. But, also notice the deep green and waxy reflection of the leaf. That's a sign of incredible plant health which is a sign of how an incredible marijuana grower was matched with incredible genetics. Even if the genetics were sent by God, it takes an amazing grower to push that plant to its best. Yeah, that's just nice!

Usually when you smoke marijuana, you're smoking the clusters of flowers or the buds which usually contain the most THC. Sometimes leaves will produce a little THC but nothing serious and that Deep Chunk is serious.

What to do with quality genetics?

So, you want some of those quality genetics - Deep Chunk, Cinderella 99, Black Domina, Mazar, Afghani Bullrider. Maybe, you're already growing and you've got some quality genetics - Jack Herer, Sour Diesel, Super Silver Haze, Grand Daddy Purple - but you're running low or you want something different.

So, you go get those magic beans, now what - just grow them out, dump the males, let the females flower so you can smoke?

HELL NO. YOU MAKE MORE MAGIC BEANS.

Female marijuana plants are the ones that produce high levels of THC. Males produce THC at incredibly low levels; so low, they're not worth keeping around. Therefore, marijuana growers are taught to cull or destroy the males once identified. Males, just like humans, will pollinate the females. A pollinated, or "knocked up", female will produce seeds. The problem is that the energy the female plant would use to produce THC is diverted into producing seeds. So, it makes sense to get rid of the males.

However, anyone who has purchased seeds knows how troubling it can be to get those seeds in the US. You can lose your money in many ways or even go to jail if the delivery is intercepted by federal authorities. And, the amount of money you lose can be substantial. Seeds can cost between $50 and $400 per pack with only 5 to 10 seeds each. The higher the THC, the more popular the strain, the higher the price.

With all of that in mind, wouldn't it make sense to make more seeds when you get your pack of quality genetics? It's not hard to do. You simply have to let the males and females do what they've been doing for thousands of years. That 10-pack of Jack Herer you purchased from Sensi Seeds for well over $200 can easily turn into 200+ seeds.

From that point on, you can start a seed collection of your own, share with friends to increase your collection, and give seeds to other people. Get a large enough collection of seeds and you might be able to start your own seed business. I sure as hell need to boost my own collection and I'd be more willing to buy locally than from afar.

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Pres. Anthony Answers Questions

Well folks, there are a lot of growers out there full of questions and needing some serious answers. And, here I am doing my best to answer them.

Can I get a plant with a little bud on it in a month time by growing for 1 month then do 12on/12off last month?

No. Any plant or even life form has to go through its natural processes. Asking or hoping for a plant to be done that quickly is like asking for a child to be born at the age of 18. You can't rush this stuff. Just let nature take its course. The fastest a marijuana plant will grow depends mostly on the genetics of the plant. Even the fastest growing plant I've heard of would take maybe three months. And, that's still the case even when cutting corners.

Hey I'm a new grower and I guess I planted too early because I am going into bud stage. They are out door. Will it continue getting taller through the summer even though it started budding? White Widow x Bubble Gum. It's good stuff but I'm worried that it wont get any bigger.

It's difficult to answer this question honestly. I am not an outdoor grower but I have read up on it. Also, I don't know the area nor the weather fluctuations at the time and that all affects the plants. Chances are you did plant too early. You have to give the plant time to get some hardiness so that it can withstand the elements. Remember, indoors, you control just about everything. Outdoors is a different monster. Moving from indoors to outdoors will shock the plant. So the first week or so, it may not show much. If the plant is young, it may take even longer as it's roots will need to grow as well. Give it some time and let's hope they aren't in too much shock.

My plant the widow/gum produced leaves with only one leaf on them, if that makes sense. There's over 12 hours of sunlight why are the buds getting bigger and not the plant?

It's possible that the plant is "auto flowering". Some plants will flower automatically. Also, it could be the case that the plant may have been so stressed that it's going into self-preservation mode. That means it will produce both pollen sacs and buds - hermaphrodite - and pollinate itself so that it can stay alive.

Do these little plants still produce seeds?

Absolutely. Plants will be plants.

My leaves are yellow. What am I doing wrong?

Yellowing leaves can come from a number of different problems. It's hard to say without pictures of the leaves. Make sure you join forums or buy a book so that you can identify some problems yourself and adjust accordingly.

How often should I root prune my plant?

Root pruning shouldn't be done often at all. Once at the most and only if absolutely necessary.

My widow/gum plant still hasn't grown an inch, the buds have, but its a pretty pathetic little plant. I've heard that plucking the buds off will make it grow but the plant is basically 1 bud it will surely die if I did that. Any suggestions on how to get some growth going.

It sounds like it's a wrap for this little plant. Don't waste time with it anymore. Don't be discouraged either. I know a grower that didn't get it right until his 4th try. Each step he stumbled on was a number of lessons learned. Now he's growing some damn good Super Silver Haze. So, start over and try again.

How long would it take to grow the small plants you display on the top? And would this be a good start for a first timer? If so, what are the specific steps in order to do this? Like you said, there's so many variables to growing, and so many ways to do so. What were the specific steps you took and items you used to grow those nicely done small scale plants.

First, I didn't grow those plants. The plants displayed at the top are for hobby/fun purposes. I believe those plants may have taken approximately three months to grow. Remember a plant is a plant from the smallest weed to the tallest tree. They all only need air, earth, and water.

Is medical marijuana different than normal weed, or is it normal weed but they just call it that because its not used for recreation purposes but rather used medically to relieve anxiety/pain or whatever. As in if somebody bought weed from a person and smoked it because they needed to relieve stress, is this technically medical marijuana or no?

Well there is really no such thing as normal weed. There are different strains of marijuana and they all can affect us in slightly different ways. So each strain is rather unique. But, to answer your question, it is just marijuana that's used for medicinal purposes. There's no special or specific medical-only marijuana. If you're using for medicinal purposes, you have to find the right strain that works for you. For example, Michelle Rainey suffers from Crohn's disease. She uses, mainly, Afghani Bullrider to help her cope. That strain is good for her but it may not be what is preferred by someone else with or without the same disease.

This is just an example of the various people who want clean, safe, high quality marijuana. I won't stand behind medicinal users or act as though I am a medicinal user. But, I think I speak for all marijuana users when I say people want their marijuana. Unfortunately, the black market has control over marijuana so it's difficult getting marijuana safely from nickel and dime thugs and criminal cops alike.

Remember, the future of marijuana under prohibition is small, quiet, personal grow operations. We can continue growing marijuana in peace and not fall into the trap of supporting this failed War on Drugs by buying Mexican cartel trash weed nor paying government taxes used to wage war on ourselves.

Grow your own.

And, don't forget to join those forums and buy those books. I don't know everything, obviously. And, I won't always be able to respond in a timely manner. Don't let me be your only source of information. Keep growing.

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Anthony's Marijuana Growing Advice

Grow Your Own Series

1. Intro
   What to expect and what not to expect from the Grow Your Own series
   
   
2. Buying Equipment
   Some "rules" regarding buying equipment
   
   
3. Item Lists/Seeds
   Actual equipment/gear for growing marijuana, how it's all used, and a note on buying marijuana seeds
   
   
4. Let's Grow Something
   Discussing the general life cycle of marijuana from seed to ash and perpetual growing
   
   
5. Back to Security
   Reminder on maintaining security once you're already set up and growing

Other Grow advice

1. Managing Small Plants
   Although growing small plants is more of a hobby, there are a lot of useful skills that you may use in managing a larger garden.

Essential Knowledge

• Books
  Every good grower should have some literature handy for quick reference. Try Marijuana Horticulture: The Indoor/Outdoor Medical Grower's Bible by Jorge Cervantes
  
  
• Marijuana Forums
  I can't tell you everything. A book can't even tell you everything. But, thousands of growers on a marijuana forum should be able to tell you anything. Join one. Try International Cannagraphic Magazine Forums. Sign up, read the forums while you wait for approval, ask questions only if you can't find the answer through a search.
  
  
• Local, State, Federal Laws
  Never do anything unless you thoroughly foresee, understand and accept the consequences of your actions. Growing marijuana is still a crime even in California. As long as you can be prosecuted for it by someone, it's a crime. It's best we all know and accept that reality. Sure, we can go into a whole debate on it and I'll agree, under the US Constitution, it is legal. But, guns and money run the United States, not the US Constitution. When you have DEA agents with assault rifles pointed at you and your family, you won't have a chance to debate anyone legally. And, your chances surviving court are slim to none. Know your rights and the law. If you know what they can and will do, you won't act recklessly. Find out what the laws are in your state.
  

I will be updating this from time to time.

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Grow Your Own: Back to Security

So, you've got your equipment from various places. You didn't raise any red flags. You've started growing and your first crop was AWESOME. You even rolled a 2-gram joint of your own homegrown and it had you floored.

Do you think it's over? I hope not.

Security continues to be an issue from odor control to police visits to nosy neighbors to friends with big mouths.

Treat your home in layers like an onion.

The core is the marijuana. The closest thing to the core is YOU. First rule of growing marijuana is to keep your mouth shut. No one needs to know what you're doing. If you have to tell someone, expect to bring them in on the action in some way. A good friend will help you out in more ways than one. You keep him in good weed and he'll be an extra set of eyes, ears, hands, and muscle. But, keep in mind, you can't fully control your friend. If anything happens, it was your own bad judgment that pulled him through so many layers.

The next layer is the home itself. You have to do everything you can to maintain the security of the home. The number one offender is odor. The only person in control of odor is YOU. So, if you feel you need to backup or double-up on your odor control, do it. Spend the extra money if you have it. It's worth it in the long run. Make sure all of your wiring is properly done as well. You don't want any fires to happen.

After the home is everything that can happen outside of the home. Nosy neighbors may bring pesky police. Thieves may find your grow op and you'll never get rid of them once they know. So, you have to approach this problem from all sides.

• Be a good neighbor. Lots of grow ops get popped because neighbors pay attention. Having no neighbors raises a red flag. Someone may come to welcome you to the neighborhood and no answer. Notes left go unanswered. Something's wrong. Good neighbors respond. Go to neighborhood meetings and so on. Keep your lawn and backyard clean. Good neighbors don't raise red flags.
  
  
• Be vigilant. Increase your security against prying eyes - physical and digital. Police will not have a problem trespassing in your home or even sending some civilian in there to find something. Get some security cameras for your property to keep an eye on things. This way if some weird person shows up at your home, you'll know to at least be on alert. Surveillance scares both thieves and police.
  
  
• Never keep anything in your car. I know so many people who keep small pipes in their car or rolling papers. Don't do it. One slip up and that could land you in jail.
  

Know your rights. A lot of marijuana growers get caught by their own activities or words in front of police. Think about your answer, be clear, be precise. Don't give more than what they asked. Remember, "you have the right to remain silent (5th Amendment)" and anything you say "can and will be used AGAINST you in a court of law." In other words, there is nothing you can tell an officer that will help you in a court of law. Police are not there to help anyone. They are there looking for crime. If they have to make it up, they will.

Check out Barry Cooper's Never Get Busted. Barry Cooper is a former Texas interdiction officer that was considered Texas' #1 drug cop. You don't get that distinction by being bad at catching people. Barry Cooper basically saw the error of his way and

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Grow Your Own: Let's Grow Something

Now that we know how and where to buy our marijuana growing supplies, it's time to get some...

Marijuana Growing Education

There are three main phases to growing any plant - germination/seedling, vegetation, and flower. I'll get to harvesting, drying and curing at the end. I'll also add a bit about perpetual growing which is really the second best part of growing. The absolute best part of growing is, of course, smoking your hard work.

Marijuana's time schedule depends heavily on the strain and the grower. Overall the time can be anywhere from 2.5 months to 6 months. Indica strains are usually faster growing than sativa strains by about 4 weeks. Hydroponics is faster than soil by about 2-4 weeks. I can rattle off a million examples but it doesn't matter. You've got to find your perfect strain and perfect growing method. It's al up to the grower.

Lighting, air, and nutrients are important issues. Remember, we are trying to mimic nature.

During germination, the seed will need complete darkness and a warm place as if it were in the earth during Spring when this warm up.

During the seedling and vegetation phases, the plant will need a lot of light to mimic those Spring/Summer days and plenty of nutrients. This is why you'll need a light timer because you can't expect to be there to turn the lights on and off appropriately. You can set your timer to 18 hours of light and 6 hours of dark. Some growers use 24 hours of light straight. You'll stay in the vegetation phase for as long as you like, typically 2-4 weeks.

Flowering occurs when the normal day/night cycle is about even - during the later summer through the fall finishing in the early winter - 12 hours of light and 12 hours of dark. You'll be in flower from as little as 4 weeks to 12 weeks depending on the seeds you have.

Germination/Seedling

This phase simply covers the first week or so from seed breaking out of its shell to sprouting a taproot up to the first set of true leaves. This will all happen in the first 7 to 10 days. There are many ways to germinate a seed. Personally, I like the tissue paper method.

1. Wet some tissue with warm water
2. Fold about 5 to 10 seeds in that tissue
3. Place the tissue in a plastic bag or baggie
4. Leave it a dark and warm place
5. Wait 24-48 hours for the seeds to pop
6. When you see about a 0.25 inch of taproot, place it in your media (dirt or rockwool)

You'll come across other methods online, many are good. I've tried them all and don't think there are any that don't work.

The seed will provide enough nutrients for the plant to grow in this phase. They will look like bean sprouts at first. After you've planted them, you'll see the top of the sprout, open up with these rounded leaves and green up within a few hours. You've given birth to a seedling. YAY, but it ain't over! As the grower, simply water the seedling and let it "eat" its own resources. The plant will use this time to grow its roots into that complex web you may see weeks or months later. You'll know the plant is ready for feeding when you see the first set of true leaves. Proceed with a very light nutrient solution, 10% of the recommended dose.

The germination phase will take place over a 2 to 3 day period. The seedling phase will happen over the next 4-5 days.

Vegetation

The seedling phase is pretty much over when you start feeding. This is when the plant will begin to show vigorous growth. You can start feeding your marijuana and just let it grow. Remember to mimic nature - plenty of light and air.

If you're in soil, make sure air is flowing through because those roots need to breathe. That means do not overwater or else your roots will be sitting in mud. The roots will use up all available oxygen after which they will suffocate. So, make sure to have set up good drainage.

If you're in hydroponic solution, make sure your air stone, tubing, and air pump are all working together to keep that water full of air for the roots to use. And, make sure your hydroponic solution is healthy. Don't be afraid to change out the water and so on.

At the end of vegetation we come to flowering. You'll reach the end of vegetation when you want. A marijuana plant can stay in vegetation for long time. Since, flowering is dependent on you, flip your light timers to "12 hours of light and 12 hours of dark" aka 12/12. Now, you're in flower.

Flower

This is where all the fun begins. You'll spend another week or two as the plant transitions into flowering. Growth hasn't stopped, it's just changing tracks, so to speak.

Instead of building more roots and leaves, it's going to start getting prepared to procreate - pistils and pollen. You will be able to tell a female marijuana plant by its pistils, sometimes referred to as the "hairs". They'll be white and coming out of a sort of tiny pouch called a calyx. The pistil catches the pollen which then slides into the calyx. The seed process begins and the calyx is the "womb" for that seed. They're small but visible. On the other hand, the male will start showing pollen sacks aka "balls" because they hold "plant sperm" and they're kind of round. Get rid of the males. Remember, they have no THC. We want to concentrate on the females.

At this point, you want to just let the plant keep doing what it's doing. Keep the top layer and rootzone healthy and the plant itself properly fed.

The females will start to grow buds which is just a collection of calyxes with pistils. The fun part starts when those buds and the surrounding leaves start producing THC in what are called trichomes which look like tiny poles with a ball on top. They are much easier to see with a microscope which I hope you've purchased from the list of items to get. You'll be relying on it in a minute.

Harvest, Dry, and Cure

You can tell when the marijuana is ready to be harvested by looking at the color of the trichomes. At this point, it's all about the trichomes. Trichomes start off clear. As the plant matures, they become cloudy and eventually turn amber or yellowish-brown. You want to harvest around when most of the trichomes in a sample have turn mostly cloudy with a touch of amber.

There are benefits to pulling a plant earlier than later. Without getting into the different sciences that apply, pulling marijuana a little early may benefit those looking for a "head high". Pulling marijuana a little late may benefit those looking for more of a body high. However, don't full assume this is how you get the difference between a head high and body high. The real difference is in the type of marijuana you are growing but pulling a little early or late does help depending on what you want.

Once you're happy with your plant's progress, cut her down. You have to prepare the plant for drying. Mold is your enemy here. Mold likes warm and humid places. Stagnant air only helps their process even more. There are many methods to drying but hanging them upside-down in a cool, dark, dry, airy place does the trick. Depending on how much marijuana you have, this may take weeks. But, we're growing personal and if you don't have too many plants, it may only take a few days.

Pull a sample bud from your plant. Record the weight. I hope you bought your scale. You'll know when you're plant is dry when that bud's weight is about 20% of the original weight. It will go down quickly. You don't want it to go down too fast however, too slow may bring problems. Just remember to keep air flowing and the area dry. You may want to check your buds from time to time just to make sure they're ok.

After you've reached that all important dry weight, this is where you want to cure your marijuana. Curing is not necessary to smoke the marijuana. Once it's dried properly, it's smokeable. Curing is important because it brings out the taste and flavor of marijuana. Curing has other benefits as well. You cure by keeping your marijuana in large containers. Whatever moisture is left in the buds will become equally distributed throughout the plant matter, drying out some parts and rehydrating others. You don't want completely dry marijuana. It will be like dust and harsh to smoke. A little moisture is good for a smoother smoking session.

A Word on Perpetual Growing

Perpetual growing is simply a way to grow marijuana in its different phases, concurrently. Remember the processes that marijuana goes through - seedling, vegetation, flower, and harvest. While one plant will experience all of these processes in order, this does not mean that all of your plants have to go through it at the same time.

Let's "walkthrough" a typical grow period of 4 months or 16 weeks.

• Week 1: Germination/Seeding
• Weeks 2-6: Vegetation
• Weeks 7-14: Flower
• Weeks 15-16: Harvesting/Drying/Curing

To run perpetually, look at the longest grow period which is the flowering for 7 weeks. You could be germinating and vegging plants in that time period since it's only 5 weeks. So, when you move your first set to flower, you've got 2 weeks to rest and start a new set of seeds. At the end of the flowering time for the first set, you can immediately move the second set into to flower. You've just shaved 5 weeks off the initial 4 months. You can't rush flower but you can start a third set in another 2 weeks.

It's easier to view the process on a calendar

• 01/01: Germination/Seedling
• 01/08 - 02/05: Vegetation
• 02/06 - 03/19: Flower
• 02/20 - 02/27: Germination/Seedling of 2nd set
• 02/27 - 03/20: Vegetaion of 2nd set
• 03/19 - 04/02: Harvesting/Dry/Cure
• 03/21 - 05/09: Flower of 2nd set
• 05/09 - 05/23: Harvest/Dry/Cure of 2nd set

As we can see, the time between the harvests of the first and second sets of crops is less than 2 months (April 2 to May 23) as opposed to 4 months if we started the cycle again from Week 1. If we continue to run the veg, flower, and harvest at basically the same time, the next crop will be ready to smoke by July 13th and September 3rd. In this way, a grower can literally pull 5-6 crops every year as opposed to 3 crops the regular way (April, August, December).

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Grow Your Own: Item List/Seeds

Continuing from yesterday, I want to let folks know exactly what they should be focusing on when purchasing items to start their own marijuana grow op. Let's get started.

Item Categories

It really all depends on HOW you intend to grow your buds. Keep in mind, all you need to do is bascially simulate nature as best as you can.

1. Lighting
   All plants need sun. That's nature! However, the type of lighting needed is a different issue. Don't bother using regular incandescent bulbs. They're inefficient, generate too much heat and not enough light. When choosing lighting, consider heat and spectrum. Your option are Compact Flourescent Lighting (CFL), High Intensity Discharge (HID) which includes Metal Halide (MH) and High Pressure Sodium (HPS), and finally Light-Emitting Diode (LED).
   
   
2. Air Quality Control
   In nature, there's wind. You'll need fans to mimic that as well as odor control and a way to cycle air if heat is an issue. You'll need fans to circulate the air, air filtration to handle that strong odor, and intake/exhaust solution for fresh air. This isn't a real issue with a small grow op. Cycling the air could be as easy as opening the door or lifting the lid. For larger grow ops, you'll need dedicated intake and exhaust.
   
   
3. Buckets or Flower Pots
   Depending on the growing system you choose to use, you'll either need buckets or flower pots or some variation of the two. If you go with a soil or soil-less set up, you'll need regular run of the mill flower pots. However, if you decide to enter the world of hydroponics, you'll need to get the right type of buckets.
   
   
4. Media
   No, I am not talking about Fox News. Media refers to the what the plant will use to anchor itself. It's not so easy to just say soil in the 21st century. There are other options including hydroton, rockwool, peat, perlite, vermiculite, and so on. You'll probably use a combination depending on what grow system you decide to use.
   
   
5. Nutrients
   In nature, plants always have something to eat. It's part of the circle of life, like Lion King. Nutrients for plants come from the decomposition of organic matter. Inside your home, you're the nutrient provider. There are two ways to go about this - chemical or organic. Chemical nutrients are simply salts that the plant can "eat" immediately. Organic nutrients tend to be a bit messier and slower because organic material needs to be broken down.
   
   
6. Misc
   Every grow room has to have its complement of accessories. I am not talking about a fat rope chain hanging on the front door. You may need measuring spoons, spray bottles, tubing, valves, grommets, razors, scissors, and so on. You'll know what you need when you're faced with a problem. Remember, it's your first time so don't be annoyed if you have to go back and forth constantly. Once you get your items, you won't need to get them again.

Example Grow Op Item List

For this, I am going to use one website - Better Grow Hydro - for example purposes. Personally, I think their pricing is a bit high. Besides, it's the internet AND a grow shop. What did I say about diffusion and paper trails? Don't shoot yourself in the foot on that option. Let's continue.

Well we have to start with the size of our grow room. Can't start buying stuff without knowing what we have to work with. Let's say it's 4' x 4' footprint; 6' in height. This is something you can build with wood from Home Depot; just be careful of light leaks. Or, you can buy a ready-made grow room. Check out the GrowLab 120.

1. Lighting
   400 watt HPS and check out other Grow Lights. And don't forget you'll need a timer as well.
   
   
2. Air Quality
   Fans. Air Filter hooks into the Exhaust. Use a passive air intake.
   
   
3. Buckets/Flower pots and Media
   ...will depend on the type of system you want to use. Let's go with hydroponic set up, specifically, Deep Water Culture or DWC. Seeds will go into Rockwool (media) which will be nestled in Hydroton (media) in a Waterfarm (bucket).
   
   
4. Nutrients
   We could go Organic, but let's go chemical with General Hydro 3-part nutrients - Grow, Bloom, Micro - since it's easier for a first timer. As you grow up in the marijuana growing game, you'll want to invest in cloning nutrients and other stuff that will keep your plant healthy.
   
   
5. Misc
   I wish I could list everything off the top of my head that a first time grower would need but there are too many to name. As it pertains to DWC, you'll need air pump and air stone as well as a water pump and tubing for everything. You'll also need testing supplies to test your water's pH (acidity vs alkalinity) and so on.
   

The pricing on everything may seem somewhat daunting especially since you don't even know if you'll do a good job the first time. But, that's all part of the learning experience. I did pretty well my first time growing because I kept it all simple and easy. I still have some of the same stuff I used before so the cost over time gets much lower. Eventually, I came to a point where I didn't have to even look at the garden shop again.

In fact, I haven't been to any garden shop in two years. Besides all the time and effort pays for itself after you've reaped what you've sewn when you take the first puff of your own homegrown marijuana.

You can always start smaller, too.

Other Places You Can Find These Items

Remember, you don't have to, and shouldn't, get all your items from one spot or even a garden shop. Here are some other places where you can find these items:

• Home Depot - light timers, wiring, fans; wood; garden dept - miraclegro, potting soil
• Petland - air stones, air tubing, air pumps
  
• Radioshack - digital temperature/hygrometer, microscope
  
• Amazon.com - measuring spoons, scissors, digital food scale, book
  
• e-conolight.com - all your lighting needs but requires some electrical work
• ebay.com - homemade carbon scrubbers
• bascousa.com - buckets but you will need to rig them like the WaterFarm [PDF Instructions]

Don't be afraid to look for those out of the way mom and pop shops as well. A lot of those places don't even register with police as places you would be buying marijuana growing supplies. In fact, I found a small paint store in NYC that sold lawn watering kits and other garden supplies. I purchased some Superthrive and 1/4" tubing there. Totally off the grid and out of the way of any cops.

Do you see why I haven't even stepped foot inside of a garden shop in 2 years?

A Note on Acquiring Seeds

Seeds are not the hardest thing to get especially if you're in the United States.

1. Low-Quality Dealers
   They're all over selling seeded marijuana. The reason it's low quality is because the energy the plant takes to make THC is diverted into making seeds as is their natural process. But, those seeds are plentiful.
   
   Unfortunately, the best place to get these seeds comes from an ounce of marijuana from Mexico. But, that's not your fault. Blame every president and prohibitionist since 1936. Grown under controlled conditions, you can have pretty potent, cerebral high causing marijuana. It won't be the MOST potent but for damn near free seeds, it's not a bad option at all. You can probably pull 20-30 seeds per ounce. Expect 50% to fail thanks to Mexican growing methods. Hey, I never said it was perfect.
   
   
2. Seeds Online
   There are dozens of sites online, usually overseas, that will gladly sell you marijuana seeds. Remember the first rule about buying equipment, pay cash. Your best bet is to use money orders, not credit cards or checks. Unfortunately, the pricing can get very high for the more popular strains like super silver haze and sour diesel. However, the other strains that aren't as popular or high-priced are just as good. Don't get caught up in the "branding" game. If you're a first timer you might just end up losing hundreds getting the "best". Concentrate on the name after you've grown your first successful plant.
   
   Unfortunately, not all seed dealers are reputable because you are committing a crime by ordering seeds. So, what agency gets your complaints if your money is stolen? Exactly, no one! And, the seed dealers know this. But, don't let that discourage you. Surprisingly, there are more good dealers than bad. So, do your research at the marijuana forums and don't spend too much your first time.
   
   
3. Growers
   If you're lucky enough to know a grower, you can definitely bum some seeds off of them. However, if you already know a grower, you probably don't need to read this at all. HA! You'll get a very viable seed stock and know exactly what kind of marijuana you should be getting. You don't have to worry about shady dealers or potentially being arrested for ordering seeds through the mail.
   
   
4. Luck
   It's totally possible to find a seed (one, MAYBE two) in a bag of high quality marijuana. Not every grow op is going to be perfect. Things happen and you may benefit from it. However, the viability of that seed may be very low so don't expect too much from it. Good luck, though.

Always expect 50% of your seeds to be males. Males do not contain much THC, if any at all. When growing marijuana they will have to culled or destroyed when identified unless you're harvesting pollen but if you're doing that, you don't need to read this. But, you don't want the pollen "impregnating" your females.

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Grow Your Own: Buying Equipment

Well here we are with the first in this 4-part series. I thought to talk about security first. I want people to understand that good security habits are the first thing you need to develop if you want to grow marijuana in your home. Security starts with the first step you take which is reading this blog post.

Remember folks, you aren't purchasing groceries. Most of what you get will be a one time purchase so practice heavy prevention early on. The badged animals know they won't see you for another 4-6 months once you're stocked up, so they're looking closely all the time. ACT LIKE IT.

The Rules

1. Pay Cash
   This is rule #1 for a reason. Police will not hesitate to dig into financial records - legal or not. Police are known to lie on search warrants and that's all that's needed to turn an innocent life upside down. Don't give the badged criminals the benefit of paper trail evidence.
   
   
2. Diffusion/Don't buy everything in one spot
   The concept behind diffusion is that you have to spread out your purchases. The reason is that police stake out garden shops and that's usually the only place you can find everything at once. So, think creatively about the items you need. Find out a way to split up those purchases among 4-5 other stores and the internet. Also, spread it all out over a few days.
   
   
3. "Dead end" your trail
   There are some things you will have to get from the local garden shop. Expect police to be watching the location and expect to be watched and even followed for as little as bottle of plant nutrients. If you decide to include a friend, you can use their car or get that person to buy things for you. The reasoning is that if the police do try to follow, they will be lead to a home that isn't the actual grow spot. You can pick up your items at a later date.
   
   If that is unsettling to you because you don't want to USE a friend or you adhere to Rule #1 of growing marijuana - tell NO ONE, not even friends - make use of cabs, trains, buses, and so on. For example, if you're in NYC, drive to the train station. Take the train one, two, or three stops to your TRUE stop. Take a cab to the garden shop. If a cop is following you on foot, he won't be able to keep up in a cab. If he's in a car which is most likely the case, he can't exactly take it on the train. You can also go into another state if you're near the border.
   
   
4. Notice the time of year
   If you're at the garden shop buying Ocean Forest (soil) in the dead of winter, you better have a damn good reason and be able to back it up as well. Police will not hesitate to lie on a search warrant to get into your home to see what you're doing.
   
   
5. Quiet and Quick
   If you know what you need and it's small items, get in and get out as quickly as possible. For example, one day at the garden shop, a guy walked in to purchase a scalpel and rockwool cubes. I knew what he was doing (cloning) automatically. He came in, got his items, made his purchase, and left - not even a "hello" nor "good-bye". I found it funny because the cop standing there with the "concealed" weapon didn't even get a chance to turn around to try to ID the guy. Now, there will be times when you'll have questions and need answers. Ask those questions in the marijuana growing forums or ask me. I'll help you. Don't go into the garden shop not already knowing what you want.

I know it may seem like overkill. But think about the alternatives - break your bank every week sending some other prick's kids to college, possibly support those Mexican drug cartels, or getting caught by some cops who will only end up selling the stuff you spent so much time and effort growing.

Ok, now we're done with that. Next "episode" I'll discuss specifically what items you would get, how it all goes together, and a word on getting seeds.

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Grow Your Own: Intro

In my efforts to teach folks how to grow their own marijuana safely away from criminals (police included), I realize most people don't have an idea of where to start. So, I'm here to help you out with that in a 4-part series from Tuesday to Thursday, May 12 to May 15th. Today, I just want to introduce it all.

First, I'll give you some tips on how to keep the badged thugs off your scent while you're buying your startup equipment. The next post will cover the specific items you may need. Then, we'll put it all together to show you how to grow marijuana. Finally, I'll end it the same way we started - keeping the badged thugs off your scent but while you're already up and running.

As the days pass, a new post will go up at 8am EST. I will update this post with links to that grow guide as well as any other growing advice I end up offering.

Small Reminder.
This guide to growing indoors will be incomplete. It's incomplete because there are too many variables to cover in each person's situation. Problems will arise from individual to individual. For example, no one's grow space will be the same size. Some people will need different answers to the same questions. While I think I know a lot, I don't know everything.

I encourage interested growers to buy a marijuana growing guide, but wait until the end of this series to buy anything. There are plenty out books out there that are readily available. I also encourage people to join marijuana forums and don't be afraid to ask questions. Remember, not every marijuana grower is out there to make money. Some people do it for medical purposes and some do it just for the love of it. Those kinds of people don't want to see anyone hurt. So, they'll gladly answer your questions just as I am.

Take a rest, relax! Tomorrow's a new day!

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Class: Lethal Marijuana Dose.. let's all die today!!

Lesson One: What is a Lethal Dose

The amount it would take to kill a human being is referred to as the "lethal dose" represented by LD followed by 50 or even 100. For example, LD50 refers to how much of a substance it would take to kill 50% of a sample population. LD100 refers to 100% lethal dose, that is, the minimum it would take to kill an entire population.

The way a lethal dose depends on the weight of the person. The general formula is the weight of the person in kilograms (2.2lbs = 1kg) multiplied by the toxic dose per kilogram. For example, the toxic dose of Tylenol (or acetaminophen) is 150mg/kg. A 200-pound person would need to ingest approximately 28 extra strength (500mg) Tylenol pills to reach his personal lethal dose.

What other "common" chemicals are toxic to humans and in what doses?
Water is a common chemical, right? The ld50 of water is 9mL/kg or about 9 liters of water. That's about 2 to 3 gallons of water straight, to cause a toxic reaction.

How possible is that?
Ask Leah Betts, Micheal J. Schindler, little 4yo Cassandra Killpack, 3yo Rosita Gonzalez, Walter Jennings, Matthew Carrington, Jennifer Strange, Jacqueline Henson, and Anna Wood. Or, maybe you should ask their families because all of those people died from water toxicity.

But, wait a minute. This is about the...

Lethal Dose of Marijuana

So, how much marijuana can one smoke to cause death?
Well sorry folks. If you were interested in dying from marijuana use, it simply won't happen. While there are numerous deaths from Tylenol ingestion and even from something as "simple" as drinking too much water, there are NO deaths from smoking marijuana.

"In summary, enormous doses of Delta 9 THC, All THC and concentrated marihuana extract ingested by mouth were unable to produce death or organ pathology in large mammals but did produce fatalities in smaller rodents due to profound central nervous system depression." [link]

In other words, the researchers couldn't give large mammals (that's kind of like us) enough marijuana to kill them no matter how much they tried. In fact, the LD50 of marijuana is so difficult to ascertain that discussions of LD50 occur hypothetically. That means, researchers are guessing how much marijuana it would take to kill a person.

"Firstly, it is important to realize that marijuana is a substance which can objectively be considered harmless. According to Lester Greenspoon, M.D., former associate professor of psychiatry at the Harvard Medical School, the hypothetical lethal dose of marijuana is 40,000 times the psychoactive dose. The lethal dose of alcohol, a legal drug, is 4 to 10 times the psychoactive dose. The figure for marijuana is hypothetical in that is has only been shown to be true in rats; there are no records of lethal marijuana overdose in humans anywhere." [link]

So, who's willing to ingest 40,000 times the psychoactive dose of marijuana? The psychoactive dose for marijuana is about a 1g joint. That's 40,000 grams or 1400 ounces or 90 pounds of marijuana all within 15 minutes. I'd like to try but I think I can only smoke about 3 to 5 joints in 15 minutes if I rush it. Something tells me I'll be really hungry and/or asleep which may seem like death. Don't wake me up though. The pink bunnies are my friends.

CLASS DISMISSED..

See you tomorrow, alive and well as long as you don't drink too much water while you don't take too much Tylenol.

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Marijuana Purchasing Etiquette

Introduction

Being the person that I am, people come to me looking for marijuana connects. Brooklyn, Queens, Bronx, Manhattan, NJ, Florida, US Virgin Islands - I know someone. My network isn't all that great but it's trusted and I am happy with that. I am also happy to share that network but I only do this for people I know - friends and family. However, when I do share a connect, there are a few issues that always seem to come up. I want to address those issues.

First, the process

I thought it'd be necessary just to give an example of how a deal would and should go. It's not hard.

1. Call the dealer
2. Give the dealer a location to meet you which is dependent on the dealer.
   They may come to your apartment or ask you to meet them in the street.
3. Wait for the dealer to contact you
   If you have to meet them outside, make sure it's inside a car or even lobby of your building. Never do a "hand-to-hand" in the open street. Police look for that which is why a lot of Black dealers get caught all the time. You see em on the corner and you can spot them from a mile away. So, can the police. And, they can and will see you to0.
4. Find out what they have to offer
   Most dealers have more than one strain available at a time. It's okay to find out what they have and even ask about it. Most dealers have no problem discussing marijuana. But, keep it short and sweet.
   
5. Make sure you have the proper money.
   No one wants to sit around counting out change because you didn't want to bring the right amount. And, no one will tolerate you even one bit if you actually come up short. Whoa!
   
6. Good-bye
   Get out of the car, end the conversation - whatever - part ways! The dealer always has other deliveries and your conversation is just holding them back.
   

How difficult is that? It's not difficult at all. So, it makes me wonder why I have to discuss specific issues that arise during this process. It really all comes down to the individual.

Problem Customers

Here are some of those people who cause the issues that dealers simple don't like.

1. Black Hole
   The info goes in, but nothing ever comes out of it. They sit on the number for months because they're scared to make the phone call. If you want the number, I need to know you're ready to purchase. Think about it: if you were a dealer and haven't heard from a new customer even once in a whole month, would you keep that number? Neither would I!
2. Wanna-be Kingpin
   Kingpins want you to do all the dirty work because they don't want to get their hands dirty. These are usually women but plenty of men live in this category as well. The good thing about kingpins is that they don't waste your time asking for numbers. Just tell them to do their own damn dirty work. Never put yourself at risk especially if you're not getting anything out of it.
   
3. Fake Connect Person
   I've come across people who just seem happy to have phone numbers as if they're the connect person. They talk a big game but they've never even called the dealer. So, when they "share" the information, no one answers. Even when they call, same no-answer. No one trusts you so why are you giving away the connect.
   
4. Wanna-be Celebrity
   You have a lot of people who think they're special. They will call the dealer and try to get him to do things he clearly doesn't do. If you know the dealer works Manhattan, don't ask if he or she will come to Brooklyn, Queens or the Bronx just because you're not far from bridge. The dealer will let you know what they're willing to do. If you don't like that, that's YOUR problem.
   

With all of that out of the way, I will hope that people who read this get that buying marijuana does not have to be some huge production. You don't need your hand held during the process. It will literally all take place in under a minute, maybe two if you actually have a decent rapport.

So, what's a good customer?

Simply put, a good customer is someone who calls the dealer, regularly. You don't deviate from the simple process laid out for you. After some time, you've built a good rapport with the dealer. Mostly, it's about how you feel. If you can meet your dealer without even thinking that you're doing something illegal, you know you and your dealer are operating safely.

At the end of the day, that's what it is all about - safety from police. Remember, marijuana never hurt anyone but millions of people (800,000+ incarcerated) have their lives turned upside-down every year because of the police.

And, NO! I don't know you so don't ask me for anyone's info!

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Stink of marijuana? Here's what you do!

Background

This past weekend, I was at a friend's house and I wanted to smoke but I couldn't exactly return there smelling of marijuana. I am sure we've all been in that situation. Letting it air out was not an option. I had some very potent Grand Daddy Purp in a strawberry dutchmaster. It was perfectly rolled using the water technique or "aqua rolling", no saliva on this one children.

See here:

Excuse the crappy camera phone pics. Blackberry isn't exactly known for their robust camera abilities.

So, I find a nice little secluded spot to "burn my kind" and make some private phone calls as well. After I got a nice comfortable high, I had to dash to the marijuana mobile for quick clean up.

The Routine

See folks, I am always prepared for such occasions as long as I have my car with me. Now, keep up with me:

1. Mouthwash: You need some sort of mouthwash to get the smell off your breath. I prefer Listerine because I just don't trust any other mouthwash. I use the mint flavored version because the brown bottle leaves your breath with that "brown bottle" scent which is nasty. It wears off eventually but still lasts too long.
2. Drink: Make sure you have a bottle of water; I had juice. Wash out your mouth. Juice is good to hide the minty fresh breath. People are going to wonder how in the hell you leave and come back with minty breath. "What were you doing?"
3. Body Spray: You need a way to handle your clothes. Spray your body down. The scent is not as strong or long lasting as cologne or perfume. It will wear off but long after the marijuana smell is gone. As long as it's light smelling and doesn't last long, you're fine. I use Axe Phoenix.
   
4. Hand Sanitizer: You need to do something about those fingers that held the blunt. Just shaking hands will leave a scent on another person. Apply generously and get it all in down to your wrists. You'll be fine. I use Lysol version.
   
5. Fresh Air: It's always good to air out YOU. Just walk around the block or to the store. Let those scents dissipate for a minute.

The idea here is to buy small travel-sized versions so it all fits in your glove compartment. And, it's not just for marijuana smoking purposes. It's for any occasion. I also keep other things as well - first aid kit, comb, nasal spray, coco butter, etc etc etc. I'm just always prepared. What can I say!?

Some of you won't have a car or just won't be driving; simply put, you won't have your tools with you. Hey, I am in this situation all the time too. There isn't much that can be done here. Get some orange juice as the acid will help with your breath and some gum. Just try to air out as much as possible. Hand sanitizer is still an option since it's so small. If not, stop off at a fast food restaurant and wash your hands in the bathroom.

Now, I am going to smoke some more Grand Daddy Purp. Y'all be good.

Don't get caught by the cops or else you'll get swine flu!

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Smoking in public: Priceless

Art of Smoking in Public

I just decided to take these pictures.

The full caption is:

Grand Daddy Purp: $50..
Cig tubes: $5 for a box of 200..
Cig box: Free..
Smoking in public: Priceless

To be more precise and honest, I'll try to break it down for you a bit better. Of course there's marijuana.. duh!! The cigarette tubes are not emptied cigarettes, as in they were purchased and then emptied. You buy them empty. You can get them online as well. Just do a search for "cigarette blanks" and you'll find it. The cig box I got from a friend who's addicted to tobacco.

Tip

A friend of mine had a little trouble using them, the same trouble I had when I first used them. The problem is that the paper itself burns too quickly. This is obviously part of the how cigarettes are made. They need to be thin so they burn down quickly and you buy more tobacco.

The fix is to use a small stick - incense stick, for example - and pack that marijuana down along the sides. So, when you're stuffing the tubes, tap it on the table to get it to fall down naturally, then use the stick to get the sides. The cig should be somewhat firm by the time you're finished. Don't be afraid to seal it up so no bits fall out.

Another tip, which I don't do but I wouldn't be right if I didn't offer the optional idea. If you don't have a problem smoking tobacco and only want a small taste through out the day as I know some maintenance smokers prefer, you can definitely mask the smell by mixing about 1 part marijuana to 3 parts tobacco. Whatever tobacco you have left over, you can use in the empty tubes later on and you'd still have the box.

WARNING

As far as smoking in public, you must still be careful. The smell is still going to be very strong so when you are smoking, try to be somewhere alone. From far away, you'll be fine. People will just think you're hitting a regular cigarette. Trust me, it works!

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