Usher: I knew it.. I knew it

Normally, I am not big on gossip. In fact, I hate it. Fun to read, but I am not the one to write about it. But, I have to show some appreciation to Usher for telling us before we "heard" it. See, the thing about Usher's music is that he's probably one of the few artists that actually uses his own life's experiences in his music. And, he doesn't hold back. You've just got to listen.

Let's think about the past. Before his breakup with Chili, his album's songs were Burn and Confessions.

Burn (chorus)
I don't understand why.. See it's burning me to hold onto this.. I know this is something I gotta do.. But that don't mean I want to.. What I'm trying to say is that I-love-you I just.. I feel like this is coming to an end.. And its better for me to let it go now than hold on and hurt you.. I gotta let it burn.

See right there, he's telling Chili he don't feel like it's going good in the relationship and it bothers him.

Confessions (chorus)
Everything that I've been doing is all bad.. I got a chick on the side with a crib and a ride.. I've been telling you so many lies.. Aint no good it's all bad.. I just wanna confess.. Its been going on so long.. Girl I been doing you so wrong.. And I want u to know that.

He's confessing. He doing Chili dirty this whole time. Did she know? Did she not know? Eh, who cares!

Now, let's see some songs after he got that old lady (yeah I said it) pregnant and the made the mistake of marrying her. I am going to use Love in this Club and Moving Mountains.

Love in this Club (you know all I need is the chorus)
I wanna make love in this club.. In this club.. In this club.. In this club
I wanna make love in this club.. In this club.. In this club.. In this club

Now, what you don't understand about that? Who the hell wants to make love in the club? Didn't Chris Rock already remind us that there is no sex in the champagne room. NONE. Usher isn't even in the strip club. He's talking about making love in the regular club. We've already established you make songs about how you're feeling and your EXPERIENCES. I'm telling you, Usher is making, or want to make, love somewhere in the club. That's why his baby momma is strapped to his ass when he goes out. She knows the deal. That's how her old ass got him. She was one of the hoes in the club. He tripped up is all.

Moving Mountains (I'm going strong here)
Now, now she loved me, shawty I loved her.. Used to jump up in the maybach and roll out.. Used to care, she used to share.. The love that she used to give me can't be found.. I lost my way, she said she'd stay.. And lately I've been sleeping with a ghost.. My stock is down and out, I used to be worth my weight in gold.. That was before the great depression kicked in and rocked us.. And that was before the hurricane came in and stopped us.. I told you to leave, but you lied to me.. When you said that, baby no worries I promise to get us back

I know sorries, just wouldn't do it.. Her heart is obliterated, I'm trying to travel through.. But it's like moving mountains.. It's like moving mountains... hey.. But I keep climbing and hoping things would change.. And the sky turns grey, and the water from the rain washes progress away.. It's like moving mountains... It's like .. moving mountains... Why just leave me, just leave me, be.. Just leave me, just leave me, be.. Why you just leave me, just leave me, Be.. Why you just leave me, just leave me be ooh

Now there's a lot going on here. We'll break this all down. In the first part, he's talking to Chili. He's reminiscing how it used to be with her. Then he fucked up with the old lady and now his "stock is down"! He's sleeping with a ghost because Chili is NOT there anymore. It's like she's died in the sense that he can't even communicate with her right now. He's depressed and calling the whole situation a hurricane. Let's call it Hurricane Tameka.
(check the Usher side-eye as she tries to snatch a drink OUT of his hand)

In the second part, he's still relating to Chili in the first few lines and then goes into how he's feeling about the aftermath of Hurricane Tameka. It's like moving mountains. Think about Hurricane Katrina and New Orleans. Three years later and it's still a major disaster. If getting America to help Black folk isn't like moving mountains, I don't know what is.. well.. maybe dealing with an old lady that pussy-trapped you. Anyway, the last few lines are telling us exactly what he wants to happen. Usher wants his life back. He wants Tameka just leave him the hell alone. Go on. Get gone. Git!!

On another note, this is what makes Usher one of the best R&B singers of this era. He's too damn real.

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You can have Jay-Z. I've got TOMMY CHONG!

Tommy Chong of Cheech and Chong fame had a book signing for his new work, Cheech and Chong: The Unauthorized Biography, at Bryant Park in New York City today. Being tapped into marijuana culture, I'd figure that this gathering would be huge so I was somewhat concerned at the short time time period he would be there from 12:30 to 1:45, in the afternoon. I was worried I wouldn't get my book signed nor would I get to meet Tommy Chong. Fortunately, I suppose, this gathering was pretty small especially for a free event.

I waited all week for this event. I had everything planned out. I'd ask a question, engage Tommy Chong, get a picture with him, shake the man's hand, and definitely get my book signed and maybe even break my 2+ month old marijuana sabbatical. For me, it would be like meeting any other person. I live in New York City. I never even looked twice when I saw a celebrity. It didn't bother me. I was immune to groupie-ism, or so I thought.

I watched Tommy Chong enter the location - a little old man, no that tall, wily white hair, and a wrinkled face. He wasn't any different than a million old men I've seen in my lifetime. He sat down and I watched the old dog speak. He was asked questions by Josh Gilbert, director of the documentary, AKA Tommy Chong. He spoke about marijuana laws, government, how he spent his time in jail, and so on. He fielded some questions from the audience ending with a woman who asked how she should approach her 16 year-old son that was smoking marijuana. Tommy Chong ended his long answer with, "Just love him!"

It was now book signing time. I was going to get to meet the man. I was ready. I hopped on the line, book in hand, determined to get the job. BUT. As I got closer to getting my book signed, my anxiety level climbed to heights never before seen in my mind. This pioneer on so many fronts - music, television, comedy - was sitting there ready to sign whatever people had for him to sign.

I WAS SHOOK.

All of that other stuff had to go out of the window. I didn't even know who I would get to take the picture of myself and Tommy Chong. How would ask this guy if he wanted to have a smoke session, IN FRONT OF ALL THESE PEOPLE? How could I engage Tommy Chong in conversation? I am just one person in a long line of people waiting to have their items signed.

I WAS SHOOK.

I got up there and Tommy Chong says, "Hey there big guy!"

HUH? WHAT?

He says my name and asks me if I am Italian. I'm stuck. I've never been asked if I was Italian, before. Normally, I get Puerto Rican in which case, I'd say, "Yes, but I am more Black than Puerto Rican. I am Quarter Rican." It's a line I've used a million times over. But, I said I was Puerto Rican. WHOA! It was like I got in front of Tommy Chong and forgot my own fucking identity. He asked me if I had ever been to Puerto Rico. I thought of that one hellish time I was stuck there when my plane was canceled. I guess my hatred of that moment took over. I told Tommy Chong, "No!" He said, "You should visit. It's beautiful there!" I responded, "Yeah, I only pass through!" He chuckled.

Throughout that interaction, I don't even remember when I asked the man to take the picture with my camera. It was as if I was on autopilot. I got the bare minimum done - book signed and picture taken - and I got the fuck outta there. The rest of my day, I was high. The meeting with Tommy Chong was almost as good a fat blunt of Jack Herer - almost!

Anyway, I am only up to chapter 6 in the book. But, Tommy Chong has already lead a wild life. He had three children by three different women. You'll have to read for yourself how he pulled all of that off without a typical Jerry Springer moment. He'd been deep in Motown music, something I never knew. And one moment in that time period in his life is this amazing metaphor in chapter 4, page 38:

"Tina was a wonder - a pure African sex goddess with energy and edginess that complemented her husky voice. When Tina sang, the mic became a big, hard cock and it was your cock that she was breathing hot, sultry lyrics into, at times pressing her beautiful lips against the substitute penis."

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