Monday, January 3, 2011

Classes start tomorrow and I'm roiling with anxiety. This is not new. This is me on the eve of a new term. It's been building all week - waking me up earlier and earlier, until I finally got the point and took some anti-anxiety meds before bed - and today my stomach is one giant knot. If patterns hold, tomorrow I will be completely fine. On my way to school, I'll feel a bit happy and excited to be on my way to ticking off two more courses. And that will be that, at least for a while.

There's no rational reason for this anxiety. But there's no avoiding it, either. I'm glad I believe in taking medication. I'd hate to go through this without.

I had an excellent winter break. I did everything I had planned: lots of organizing and household chores that had piled up, some socializing with good friends (and dogs), lots of time lying on the couch reading. (Look for an upcoming "what i'm reading" post.) Cooked a few nice dinners, took long walks with Tala. Did not commute into Toronto, not even once, and did no paid work whatsoever.

Allan and I watched a few movies, but mostly we binged on "The Larry Sanders Show," watching several episodes a night while drinking wine and eating yummy things from President's Choice. I can confirm that Larry Sanders is the best television show ever.

When I finish this term, I will be halfway done with grad school.

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