We Are Always On Trial

I had a conversation with a friend of mine the other night. It really made me think about how I treat my friends and even my family. The conversation started when my friend felt that I would scrutinize her too much. I didn't disagree with her. In fact, I admitted, rightly so, that I did and I would continue to do so. Of course, any normal person would feel somewhat offended at constantly being scrutinized. However, the reality of the world is that we're always scrutinized all of the time. Every single time we are seen and by every single person, we will all be scrutinized in some way shape or form.

Anyway, my friend felt that my scrutinizing lead me to making judgments that may not be entirely fair. I understood but I saw it differently. Here's the conversation:

Anthony Taurus: judgments are based on evidence you have
AT: given new evidence, judgments can change
JG: lol@ new evidence ...like its a trial
AT: it is a trial
AT: what you do and say can and will be held against
AT: so watch your mouth and watch your step
JG: what am i on trial for ?
AT: friendship
AT: trust
AT: relationship
AT: etc etc etc
AT: we're all always on trial
JG: interesting....
JG: i thought we were already friends...
AT: doesn't mean that it will last

So, what I did here is compare relationships, whatever they may be, with court trials. We are always judged depending on what we've done. This is, of course, beyond our external identity. In other words, we are already be beyond race, culture, gender, and so on. For example, a friend, has stolen from me. I'd have to consider this new evidence into our friendship and come to a new judgment regarding the relationship. This can be translated to crime in society. For example, a woman was found innocent of murdering her husband. Fifteen years later, the now 25 year-old son comes forward as a witness to that crime. That is new evidence which requires a new trial, new judgment, and a sentence.

Overall, I believe we all act like individual nations. We have our own laws of what we will allow people to do when in our nation or in our presence. This is regardless of what society may consider criminal. In simpler terms, we all have our likes and dislikes. For example, I can't stand tobacco smoke. In your nation, it may be totally legal. In my nation (The United States of Anthony, of course), it's a crime. So, I wouldn't want a cigarette smoker anywhere around me. In my court, a cigarette smoker would be tried, convicted of the crime of smoking tobacco (and not marijuana), and then potentially sentenced to banishment.

Allow me to backtrack a bit. I have a friend that I've know for 15+ years. He smokes cigarettes. 15+ years of friendship is nothing to throw away. Cigarette smoke is a minor negative compared to all of the positive. In other words, as we take into consideration negative evidence, positive evidence should also be taken into consideration.

In the end, my feeling is that we are all always on trial. At work. At home. On the street. In the elevator. As long as there exists a relationship, we will be judged. Parents-children. Employer-employee. Boy-Girl. Friends. Strangers. The real question is, how will you "sentence" or react to those judgments.