Blaxploitation & Verbal Acrobatics

I have always been a big fan of blaxploitation movies. Oh, you don't know anything about blaxploitation? Dictionary.com has a great definition, although not the first one but definitely the most complete:

A genre of American film of the 1970s featuring African-American actors in lead roles and often having antiestablishment plots, frequently criticized for stereotypical characterization and glorification of violence. While African-American filmmakers were substantially involved in making early movies in this genre, their participation in subsequent productions was minimal.

The one major attraction to these movies, for me, is what I call "verbal acrobatics". Remember, you heard the term coined here first! Verbal acrobatics basically refers to the language used to express simple ideas with more colorful words.

A small word on language: A lot of people see that type of language as ignorant; ebonics is what they call it. But, being an individual who loves how language is used, I realize that what we call ebonics is simply a very legitimate dialect of American English just as American English is an offshoot of British English which is an offshoot of the Queens English which I believe has roots in German. The point is, that while many of us seek to condemn such differences in language, usually due to racial preferences, I prefer to recognize and embrace wholeheartedly the concept of the natural evolution of language.

Let's take for example the English dialect of Caribbean peoples. Instead of viewing those people, my people, as ignorant or backward, I see a people who are changing language to suit their own means - making it their own! It's been happening for millions of years. Birds of similar species have different calls (language) depending on their location. Other animals are the same - including humans.

Anyway, let's move along. What I want is for everyone who reads this to say something... Blaxploitationy. Work those minds. Show me your verbal acrobatics. Here are some examples:

From Black Belt Jones (inspiration for this blog)

Pinky: Choose money over honey? Shiiiiit. Man, you can pull out my groin, just gimme that coin! Man, I'd rather be dead than not have any bread! Pinky's mama didn't raise no fool!
Translation: I prefer money to women!

Sydney: I'm gonna make you look like a sick faggot.
Translation: I am going to beat you up!

Muhammad Ali (classic verbal acrobat)

"I done wrestled with an alligator, I done tussled with a whale; handcuffed lightning, thrown thunder in jail; only last week, I murdered a rock, injured a stone, hospitalised a brick; I'm so mean, I make medicine sick."
Needs no translation.

Now here's my own effort:

Pound for pound the most beautiful man alive. I mend broken hearts with my most beautiful smile. I swear 'fore God, I have too much class! I'm never one to have bubblegum but I have huge supply of whoop ass. My ass cash more checks than my mouth can write. I never go down in a fight. I treat the ladies right and I go down all night. I give all praise to God but recognize, it's mutual appreciation. I come out on top in all situations. I'm the missing verse in Revelations. I am what God envisioned during the great creation.

I think I may have just bust a rhyme, yo! In any case, YOUR TURN!